Ick

Yesterday I learned that many people who are allergic to cockroaches are also allergic to coffee made from pre-ground beans. Why? Because roaches infest giant piles of coffee beans, and the FDA allows for a certain percentage of dried roach in pre-ground coffee. The best part of waking up? Not so much.

While this was an icky discovery, I wasn't too disgusted; we always use whole beans and grind our own.... Though, as I write this, I realize that I will never again be able to order coffee from a diner or use the tasteless-yet-convenient keurig. (Yet I also know that I probably will, and so my future self is repugnant to my present self.)

What I found more disturbing, however, was this: the same thing goes for chocolate. Roaches just love big ol' piles of cacao seeds.

Trace amounts of fecal matter, insect carcasses, and generally foul sh*t are federally permitted in processed foods, and they're all over our veggies too, as Ashley (whose blog is incredible) rightly pointed out. I know this, but it seems insidious to hide roach bits in my coffee and chocolate.

Scrabble Life Lesson #1

With letters like these:


You are not going to win. You may heckle the victor:


You may throw fancy chocolates into the cocktails of your opponents:


You may pursue any number of fulfilling, creative alternatives, but you are not going to win.