1) "I'm about a quart low on Chablis!" -- Elderly math teacher at recent hellish retreat
2) "How?" -- Over-privileged student's response when asked to close window blinds.
3) "non-shalantly" -- Clever student writing about her actions
4) "Oh, she's quite a trollop." -- Elderly math teacher describing a lascivious student
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
denouement
After endless waiting and wild anticipation (thank you for your patience and understanding), we finally set out to get Snorri. The day dawned auspicious:
After a quick and beautiful drive to Old Virginny, we arrived at the cattery to find Snorri waiting for us at the door, and we got to meet all of his kinfolk - five generations of NFCs. I wish I'd taken pictures of his father and grandfather. They were huge. Lift-with-your-legs enormous. We realized that we'd never actually seen a Norwegian Forest Cat, much less hefted a twenty-pounder personally. Google image searches are not substitutes for actual experiences, children. Be ye warned.
And then Snorri was ours. I won't bore you with the emotional chowchow of it all; let's just say that we've already referred to ourselves as "mom" and "dad" on more than one occasion. I know.
I'd read that cats and car trips make uneasy bedfellows, and it's true that Snorri didn't immediately love his cat carrier.
But, after about fifteen minutes of pitiful mewling, the little guy snugged down and was a total badass.
Eventually, however, the humans could stand it no longer. Breaking every rule of cat training and car safety, we freed the Snorrster from his prison. At first, he did some 'splorin'.
But it wasn't long before Snorri showed his true colors. This cat is a fiend for the snuggle.
Do you know how to tell if a cat is relaxed? Look closely. This is drool.
So, Snorri is pretty much the most awesome cat ever, and, one day, he'll be a wild and fearsome Viking marauder. Just not right now. He's got to get his snuggle on.
After a quick and beautiful drive to Old Virginny, we arrived at the cattery to find Snorri waiting for us at the door, and we got to meet all of his kinfolk - five generations of NFCs. I wish I'd taken pictures of his father and grandfather. They were huge. Lift-with-your-legs enormous. We realized that we'd never actually seen a Norwegian Forest Cat, much less hefted a twenty-pounder personally. Google image searches are not substitutes for actual experiences, children. Be ye warned.And then Snorri was ours. I won't bore you with the emotional chowchow of it all; let's just say that we've already referred to ourselves as "mom" and "dad" on more than one occasion. I know.
I'd read that cats and car trips make uneasy bedfellows, and it's true that Snorri didn't immediately love his cat carrier.
But, after about fifteen minutes of pitiful mewling, the little guy snugged down and was a total badass.
Eventually, however, the humans could stand it no longer. Breaking every rule of cat training and car safety, we freed the Snorrster from his prison. At first, he did some 'splorin'.
But it wasn't long before Snorri showed his true colors. This cat is a fiend for the snuggle.
Do you know how to tell if a cat is relaxed? Look closely. This is drool.
So, Snorri is pretty much the most awesome cat ever, and, one day, he'll be a wild and fearsome Viking marauder. Just not right now. He's got to get his snuggle on.
Monday, September 21, 2009
I must have done a very dastardly deed.
I am being forced to attend a three-day bonding retreat with ninth graders, the same wee folk who were earlier in raptures over awkward interchanges between ScarJo and a mortified-looking Colin Firth. (I believe I may have mentioned this previously and promised not to complain about it. I lied.)
Well, I just received the packing list, and... Well... F*ck. More articulate griping to follow.
Well, I just received the packing list, and... Well... F*ck. More articulate griping to follow.
C****** PACKING LIST
Sleeping bag (to put on bed)
Pillow
Sleepwear
Bathing suit (we are not going swimming, but some people feel more comfortable having a swimsuit for the shower)
Towels and washcloth
Toiletries
Blue jeans, etc., and bring two changes of clothes
Light jacket
Sweatshirt
Socks
Sneakers or shoes (two pairs suggested in case one pair gets wet)
Flashlight
Flip flops for shower
Day pack (book bag) for ropes course.
Inside put:
rain gear
large water bottle
Kleenex
sunscreen
moistened wipes
insect repellant
Forbidden items:
Cell phones
Candy, food, drinks (they will be provided)
Surely, I don't deserve this
Had another fantastic weekend in Vermont - the air was crisp, the leaves were changing, and the local cheeses were so delicious that you might as well apply them directly to my ass and call it a day. We even had a quick and easy drive back and were able to get to bed by a decent hour.
But now. Now! I'm subbing for an English class, which means that I'm watching Girl With A Pearl Earring, and if I have to watch ScarJo mouth breathe and emote for one more minute I may get physically ill. How? How??? How did she get paid to do this? Snorri could do a more convincing job, though, I admit, he is a remarkably talented kitty, so it may not be a fair comparison.
But now. Now! I'm subbing for an English class, which means that I'm watching Girl With A Pearl Earring, and if I have to watch ScarJo mouth breathe and emote for one more minute I may get physically ill. How? How??? How did she get paid to do this? Snorri could do a more convincing job, though, I admit, he is a remarkably talented kitty, so it may not be a fair comparison.
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