I'm waiting for my car to be serviced. I handed the keys to the mechanic with a look that said, "I will not be judged. I keep a litter box in my car. And dill pickle-flavored sunflower seeds. These things are not for me, but they could be, and I refuse to suffer your reproach." In forty-five minutes I will write him a larger check than I would like and then turn on my heel, regally. I will appear taller than my 5'2''.

I wish I had so much more than my little monies to send to Haiti. I wish I had magical powers. I wish people weren't such fragile things.