This week has just been dripping with idiots, and I'm amazed that I've refrained from doing anything criminal. But, I'm about to P90X with my fuzzy little man-peach, and then we're cocktail bound. That's right, I'm excited about P90Xing; the week was that shitty.
I did, however, discover my new favorite response. When some bovine, mouth-breathing idiot asks you how you're doing, smile beatifically and say, "Remarkably well." You needn't even follow it up with "considering how much sh*t everyone around you is forced to endure - I mean it f*cking gushes from your mouth every time you draw a f*cking breath - it's f*cking remarkable that I'm able to look at you without bursting a vein in my forehead. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" Nope, just leave it all implied... Much more powerful that way.
In other, disturbing news, n.o.c. just emptied the vacuum, and I am amazed that any hair is left on my head.
Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts
Friday, March 27, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Hate
Here were the highlights of today's meeting:
- Gotcha! Moments
- Affinity Groups
- Feedback
- Sharing
- Journaling
- Small-group work
- Leaning into discomfort!
- Revealing ourselves to others!
- Self-revelation sharing
Thursday, March 5, 2009
wheat berries
We're still without internets. It blows, but we just pretend that we live in olden times. We turn off the heat, read our kindles by candlelight, eat rancid meat, and shove greasy rags in the chinks around the door. We've also stopped bathing and brushing our teeth so that we really feel authentic.
In other news, we have a new-found fascination with the wheat berry. (WAIT! Keep reading!) Cook it in the rice cooker, top it with a poached egg, or maybe a little peanut butter and honey, and damn! - you've got yourself a breakfast that is HAR-TAY. Now, if it were merely a hearty breakfast, I wouldn't bother sharing; I'm here to laud other, lesser known properties of the wheat berry.
Wheat berries include every bit of the wheat seed - endosperm, bran, germ, teeth, trachea, ex-boyfriends, running shoes, etc. - so they are very healthy and really f*cking chewy. Half way through a bowl, n.o.c. typically says something like, "I have a cramp in my jaw. It would be easier to chew erasers." Suck it up, p*ssy. Your jawline will look like Johnny Depp's in no time.
Though wheat berries only have four grams of fiber per half cup, you'll also receive emails like this throughout the day:
Something to those wheat berries. I just turned myself inside out.
So, they also add a bit of spice to what could otherwise be an uneventful day of ordinary bowel movements.
Well, that's the end of my paean to the wheat berry. I must now turn my attention to a pile of papers that say things like, "Throughout the years of religion in China, many religious leaders have come along." No sh*t, Sherlock.
In other news, we have a new-found fascination with the wheat berry. (WAIT! Keep reading!) Cook it in the rice cooker, top it with a poached egg, or maybe a little peanut butter and honey, and damn! - you've got yourself a breakfast that is HAR-TAY. Now, if it were merely a hearty breakfast, I wouldn't bother sharing; I'm here to laud other, lesser known properties of the wheat berry.
Wheat berries include every bit of the wheat seed - endosperm, bran, germ, teeth, trachea, ex-boyfriends, running shoes, etc. - so they are very healthy and really f*cking chewy. Half way through a bowl, n.o.c. typically says something like, "I have a cramp in my jaw. It would be easier to chew erasers." Suck it up, p*ssy. Your jawline will look like Johnny Depp's in no time.
Though wheat berries only have four grams of fiber per half cup, you'll also receive emails like this throughout the day:
Something to those wheat berries. I just turned myself inside out.
So, they also add a bit of spice to what could otherwise be an uneventful day of ordinary bowel movements.
Well, that's the end of my paean to the wheat berry. I must now turn my attention to a pile of papers that say things like, "Throughout the years of religion in China, many religious leaders have come along." No sh*t, Sherlock.
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