Friday, March 27, 2009

Remarkably Well

This week has just been dripping with idiots, and I'm amazed that I've refrained from doing anything criminal. But, I'm about to P90X with my fuzzy little man-peach, and then we're cocktail bound. That's right, I'm excited about P90Xing; the week was that shitty.

I did, however, discover my new favorite response. When some bovine, mouth-breathing idiot asks you how you're doing, smile beatifically and say, "Remarkably well." You needn't even follow it up with "considering how much sh*t everyone around you is forced to endure - I mean it f*cking gushes from your mouth every time you draw a f*cking breath - it's f*cking remarkable that I'm able to look at you without bursting a vein in my forehead. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" Nope, just leave it all implied... Much more powerful that way.

In other, disturbing news, n.o.c. just emptied the vacuum, and I am amazed that any hair is left on my head.


OliverDarrow said...

as an expert on such matters, i can say with certainly that you need a cocktail.

DC said...

98123c98123c98sure doesn't sound like you have happy