I have had sufficient.

So, not having the internets is beginning to wear.

Instead of spending our evenings enjoying the separate togetherness of simultaneous surfing, n.o.c. and I are forced to have conversations about fulfillment, the economy, the efficacy of the great reducing, finances, etc. In these troubled times, such things should really be avoided. I feel certain that one of us will end it all if we have to go another week without the pleasant, numbing distractions of Go Fug Yourself and online poker.

To add insult to injury, whenever we come up with pressing and important questions - like, What happened to the members of Def Leppard? Did that bankruptcy bill pass the house? How many calories are in a pencil eraser? Do Norwegian Forest Cats have a history of attacking humans? - we must simply wait and wonder. Take a moment to process that.

And now I have to blog furtively, while I'm "working." This hasn't been a problem until lately, but with the economy in the sh*tter, folks are getting titchy about spending 22k on a 5th grade education. What can I say? People are cheap. As a result, things around here tense, and activities like blogging, napping, and online shopping are increasingly frowned upon. People have begun to say things like, "Don't forget! Your attendance at the meeting is required!" and "You are talented, creative professionals! Engaging, enthusiastic classroom experiences will help ensure that students love our school!" Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know what these people are smoking, but I'm just here to work on my novel, read nytimes.com, and wear enviable shoes.

I'll let you know as soon as conditions improve. Until then, waste some online time for me.