When I was very small, I had a book that followed a boy (let's call him Fabian) through a truly terrible day and chronicled his adventures using the following model: Unfortunately, Fabian fell into a well filled with man-eating sharks. Fortunately, Fabian had an underwater machine gun. Unfortunately, the gun was out of bullets. Fortunately, Fabian was a hoss and beat the sh*t out of the pansyass sharks.
Kind of fun, no?
Anyway, I'm feeling kind of wishy-washy and not very creative, so I thought I'd give this model a try. Here goes.
Unfortunately, it's raining balls outside, and I need to take the train to DC.
Fortunately, I no longer have any actual obligations, so I can go whenever the f*ck I feel like it.
Unfortunately, our Lindt supply was severely depleted after a visit from Our Favorite New Englanders.
Fortunately, there is a Lindt store nearby.
Unfortunately, that Lindt store is closing, which is an inconvenience and an ominous economic sign, since people are supposed to be spending money on small luxuries like chocolate truffles instead of on big ones like houses.
Fortunately, I took full advantage of Lindt's hard times. We are ready for another visit.
Unfortunately, I baked two loaves of honey-wheat sandwich bread yesterday that just laid in their pans like flaccid, wheaty slugs and did not rise one bit.
Fortunately, though they have the heft of bricks, the loaves are still pretty tasty.
Unfortunately, I've become a lazy sh*t.
Fortunately, I went to a spinning class yesterday.
Unfortunately, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
Fortunately, I didn't.
Unfortunately, this blog entry kind of sucks.
Fortunately, I'm done.