Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It'll get you.

n.o.c. always makes the coffee. He readies the pot every evening, and the coffee is brewed and delicious by the time we straggle out of bed.

n.o.c. also makes the bed, folds the socks, and does any task that gives me the icks; I pack his lunch, buy the groceries, and keep track of our collective memory. We split the other boring f*cking minutia that becomes necessary when you're poor and anal retentive. This summer, however, the division of labor has been a little different, since n.o.c.'s been working a bizillion hours and I've been discovering the joys of internet television and growing my ass in preparation for the lean times ahead. (It's part of a plan, see?) Early on, I thought I might be able to say things like, "But it's my summer vacation! Why should I spend my time working?" Unfortunately, n.o.c. was busy losing fifteen pounds from stress and didn't have time to listen to my well-reasoned whines. So, I've been doing most of the house-holdy chores, and, though this may surprise you, I've done them with little complaint.

But because I am fundamentally a crotchety old bitch, I still expect n.o.c. to do his necessary. If he's dejectedly slumped in a corner typing away at a TPS report at 2am, then I might put down my most recent Dumas novel, haul my ass to the kitchen (thank goodness it still requires just one trip), and make the coffee, but generally he's still the brewmaster.

But last night, per my usual, I made the dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and crawled into bed to spend quality time with my kindle. n.o.c. made the coffee. This morning, per my usual, I somnambulated to the kitchen to have my cuppa and make n.o.c.'s lunch. Unfortunately, n.o.c. had forgotten to return the carafe to its proper place, so coffee and grounds had overflowed everyf*ckingwhere - in drawers, in cabinets, all over the floor, etc. I may have let loose an expletive or two. But then I cleaned up without complaint, because not only am I f*cking saint, but I am also someone who was gearing up for a day in which the most strenuous activity might be a gym visit, and I do have at least an ounce of perspective. n.o.c. felt pretty shitty about the whole thing, in fact, he mumbled something about feeling like a child who has messed his pants, but I still managed to send him off to earn that dollar in reasonably good spirits.

I tell you this rather mundane story becuase I think it has a moral: You can stick to your guns and require things of people who may be, for one reason or another, less able than you to perform them, but you must be prepared to accept imperfection. If we ever decide to breed, for example, I will have no compunction about little Pierce fixing mummy her martini, no matter how many glasses I might lose or how many times I'll have to remind him to simply wave the vermouth in my general direction. I will stick to my guns because I'm magnanimous, and I enjoy helping people feel needed. I'm also lazy, and at the end of the day, a bad martini is better than one you had to make for yourself.


randasfans said...

Three things, really: 1) "thank goodness it still requires just one trip" got a great big hoot out of me. 2) please don't ever have children. 3) I still adore your blog, and it has been good medicine for me keeping up with you this summer. OH WAIT there's a 4th) hope you're having a fine time in GA!

17 beats. said...

thanks for this post. i'm a teacher, too, and while i mostly feel the same way you do (happy to do the lion's share of the chores during the summer) i have a two requirements that i've been trying to beat into my partner's head:

1) recognize what i do for us (nothing happens by magic).

2) recognize that i need this time off to recharge and feel like an adult. i spend my day with children ages 8 to 18 who are not my own. it's exhausting and not nearly as rewarding as pop culture makes it out to be.

i refuse to apologize for enjoying myself over the summer... and i have no problem asking my partner to take out the trash every now and then. lord knows i'll still be doing most of this shit come september...

RCWG said...

love the site. i heard a line from a song today that sounded like a Rog(ism)-
"she was as hot as a half-fucked fox in a forrest fire." - Jon Wayne