1) A bourbon smash, but I'm out of mint. Do we think that I can muddle altoids to good effect?
2) The f*cking bistro around the corner. If you don't stop washing your f*cking trash into a disgusting stream of sh*t right in front of my steps, things will get ugly. You don't fool me - I don't think you're doing as well as your snotty unconcern might suggest. Happy hour is happening for a reason.
3) Four. More. Weeks. No. More. Children.
4) My last twenty-something birthday.
5) I do not like Keurig coffee. Like licking a public handrail.
6) My stack of grading is so high that when it falls over it creates a massive avalanche of papers and tests all saying things like, "Traditionalists state that the tenant (sic) of resurrection is integral to the faith and can be proven in a theological logic."
7) Tonight, n.o.c. is going to a fancy party at a fancy club. I do not get to go; it's just for the gents. I get to stay home and drink bourbon soaked altoids and grade papers.
8) Bill's very funny blog
9) 85 degrees on Saturday! Our first summer with central air hath begun!
10) Spray tan. What do we think? A viable alternative to pastiness or an inevitable shade of oompa loompa?
11) Why do they not put new articles on nytimes.com every minute? Refresh. Refresh! Refresh!!
12) The use of the pronoun we as a mode of address to blog readers. A bit too too, no?