1) Limiting our alcohol intake has contributed neither to the great reducing nor to our mood in general. We're done with that shit.
2) P90Xing will give you calves the size of footballs. You won't be able to wear boots or skinny jeans, but you will be able to lift the car with the strength of your calves should the need arise.
3) Being a spectator at a middle and high school poetry recitation is a mixed bag. If you can get past the pain, you can find some funny.
4) My mother witnessed our very loud upstairs neighbors. After staring at the ceiling for a while, she cocked an eyebrow and quipped, "You know, your father and I wouldn't take that sort of thing lying down. We're far too competitive."
5) Saturday night's dinner was a tasty affair - local smoked trout and dry-aged pork.
6) My cactus celebrates all the major holidays. What can I say? This fool succulent has stamina.