I'm supposed to be typing stink tank minutes

But because I'm feeling miffed that I only have four weeks and one day left of my summer, I will instead answer some survey questions that the very lovely Megan tagged me for ages ago.

What is your current obsession?

Tomatoes. Last week I spent $25 on tomatoes.

What is your weirdest obsession?

Avoiding bathtubs. The very idea of sitting in a tub gives me the willies.

What do you see outside your window?

What is your favorite color?

Last weekend we played bocce in the park. I yelled at n.o.c. to pick up my ball, and he just stood there staring at it, insisting that he couldn't find it. I was frustrated until I remembered that he is colorblind.

What is your weakness?

Fool, I ain't got no weakness.

Rereading mindless books in an escapist manner. I could spend years reading about imagined lives. Have, probably.

What animal would you be?

Snorri! Obviously! Who wouldn't want to be the cutest cat in the world with the bestest, happiest life ever! (Sorry. I'm stopping, I'm stopping.)

What do you want never to happen in life?

For bathing in bathtubs to become mandatory.

What is on your bedside table?

A lamp. A box of kleenex. Eight books and a Kindle.

What's the last thing you bought?

A dozen ears of corn from the farmer's market. Corn spiders be damned!

What do you think about the person who tagged you?

I think she should seriously consider relocating to Baltimore. I could use a friend and a florist, and the mean streets of California are far too dangerous.

What was your favorite children's book?

I was the second grader sobbing in the back of the classroom because I'd just finished Where the Red Fern Grows instead of my math assignment... When I was very young, like three or four, my favorite was Miss Twiggley's Tree - I can still recite most of it. "Old Miss Twiggley lived in a tree with a dog named Puss and a color TV. She did what she liked, and she liked what she did, but when company came - Miss Twiggley hid." Telling, I think.

Who do you want to meet in person?

Dolly Parton.

What did you want to be as a child?

Dolly Parton.

What did you dream about last night?

That I had two martinis and then made the coffee backwards and with butter. Also, there was a fat kid from my high school riding a beached whale.

Which do you prefer, day or night?

Breakfast and dinner.

What's your favorite piece of clothing in your closet?

Shoooes.

What would you like to get your hands on right now?

A compact sofa bed that is comfortable and does not a) make me gag b) make me feel like a college junior or c) cost a grand.

What's your favorite tea flavor?

Iced.

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

Anywhere, as long as n.o.c. could go too. Before you barf, know that my reasons are entirely selfish. If he could accompany me, then I could feel completely and totally on vacation, instead of just persistently and annoyingly guilty for not working.

Show me something AWESOME!

Three sights within a block of my apartment:

Now I'm to delete one question and add one of my own:

College- or wide-ruled paper?

College! College! The narrower, the better!

So, I'm supposed to tag eight folks, but it is not yet time for me to hand out assignments - I have a month and a motherf*ckin' day left, dammit.