A spiffing good time

We had a water main break near our apartment, so I began my Monday by bathing myself with a washcloth dipped in sparkling water. I don't just look good; I feel good.

Thankfully, my weekend was fantastic. For those of you who may be wondering how best to achieve an awesome weekend, I've compiled a list of awesome-weekend ingredients with helpfully illustrative photographs. Results may vary.

1) Do-it-yourself leg o' mutton sleeves. Go ahead - fashion is your b*tch.


2) Ridiculous ginger cookies. You can eat as many as you want, because ginger has soothing digestive properties. Brilliant!


3) Scrabble on your vintage turn-table board. Preferably with a furry brown letter bag and a cheat sheet of two-letter words, both made by your very crafty grandmother. Remember: people who are fixated on winning are generally compensating for something.





4) Sherry. People don't drink enough sherry.


5) A sausage breakfast so good, your vegetarian friend eats it all before you get to take pictures. Sausages! Sausages!


6) A cute little Monkey.